Imagine you could go back to the beginning of this semester and deliver a message to yourself. What would that message be?

If I could go back to the beginning of the semester and tell myself anything, I would say to stock up on toilet paper and Lysol wipes ASAP. I’m kidding, sort of. I would say a few things. Future Hannah would tell me to enjoy my life for the next couple of months because everything is going to change. I would tell myself to go try as many new restaurants as I could, stay out with friends past 4 in the morning, take your vacation now instead of waiting until spring break. I feel really far away right now if that makes any sense. I’ve distanced myself from reality as some kind of coping mechanism for understanding the reality of what’s happening right now. From yesterday to today, 700 deaths were reported in the United States. This is unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with and there’s nothing we can do but sit and home and wait it out. 

If I could go back to the beginning of the semester and tell myself anything, I would say, it’s okay to grieve. Everyone’s grieving process is different. Some were able to tackle this information head-on, others such as myself had multiple anxiety attacks while thinking what if this happens to me or someone I know. It took me a little longer to get to the acceptance stage of what’s happening. I live in downtown New Orleans and just moved to a house in mid-city to get away from my apartment building full of doctors. It is a lot of change all at once and definitely set reality in for me. Knowing that if I remain here for 2 weeks without leaving and not show any symptoms that I will feel more in control of this situation. 

If I could go back to the beginning of the semester and tell myself anything, I would say, “You’re going to be okay.” All we see on television and social media right now is coronavirus – You can’t escape it. I haven’t been able to keep track of the days anymore. I thought it was Saturday and really it was Tuesday. With all of the days blending together and the inability to go out and do the things we normally do; it’s this time of uncertainty and it is very easy to lose yourself, especially whilst thinking of worst-case scenarios. I am so scared every day that someone I know or I will get COVID-19. I sure hope it doesn’t happen.

I wish I had someone to tell me the future. It would kill a lot of the anxious feelings I have at the moment. To be honest, I am very sad. I wish I would have appreciated normal life a lot more. I wish that instead of complaining about my dog taking forever on her morning walk that I would have enjoyed it instead. I miss being outside. I miss hugging my friends. I miss what everything was. We will never go back to what it was like before. I feel that a lot of people aren’t taking this as seriously as they should be.